just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
