I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
