They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
