we're chasing vodka with high fives
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
