I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
