I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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