I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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