listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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