so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
