What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
