Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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