those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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