sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
