If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
