just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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