so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
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