My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
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