Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
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