At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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