she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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