The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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