After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
You had me at "let me see your balls"
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
