i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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