if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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