I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
