just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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