I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
