I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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