At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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