Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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