mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
