Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
