had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
You left your phone here
Wait...
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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