GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
