I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
