Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
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