OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
