Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
