sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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