My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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