Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
