Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
