No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Randomize
