You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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