Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
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