Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
