Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
