Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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