Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
