He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
