the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
