don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
