I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
